Monday, August 24, 2015

Our Favorite Marriage Advice

C and I are inching closer and closer to 5 adventurous years of marriage. Throughout all those years, we have been given a lot of advice. Some worked, but others not so much. We sat down the other night and decided to come up with our top 10 bits of marriage advice to share with you guys!



1. Never go a day without saying "I love you." : While this may seem like a no brainer, you would be surprised at how many couples actually fail to say "I love you" to their spouse. We make a point to say it as often as possible. Have you told your spouse "I love you" today?

2. Move away from family. : Now this won't work for everyone, and we only sorta half way followed this one. Some opportunities came up and that allowed C and I to move away from my mom and his parents, but in with my dad. It can be scary, but if you are able to, move away from family for at least a year. Give your marriage that time to grow and form without the pressure of having to spend every moment with your parents or in-laws. 

3. Never complain about your spouse to friends or family. : You can forgive your spouse, but your friends and family won't always feel the same way. Your friends and your family can potentially see something your spouse does that hurts you as unforgivable. This can make for a very awkward get together and even problems between your spouse and your friends and family. Save yourself the headache and don't complain or share marriage problems with friends or family. 

4. Find a hobby you both can enjoy. : Often times in marriage, you can fall into a rut. You end up doing the same thing every day. Put forth the effort and find a hobby you both enjoy. It could be something active like hiking, rock climbing, kayaking or it could be something different like painting, singing, wine tasting, etc. Just find something you both enjoy. 

5. Spend time apart. : It is so important to make sure that you are taking time for you in your marriage. I'm guilty of getting caught up in being a wife that I forget that I am a person outside of a wife. I've learned to take a little time for myself, and C has done the same. It is good to spend time together, but it is also just as important to spend some quality time with yourself. 

6. Wait to have kids. : Again, this isn't for everyone. C and I wanted to start a family right after we were married, but our living situation and new jobs just made the decision to wait easier. Since then, he has been ready for kids when I am not, and I've been ready for kids when he isn't. We have even been ready at the same time, but after lots of conversations, we realize that it is so important to really enjoy our time as husband and wife without being mom and dad as well. We want to travel to several places. We want to live in downtown Chattanooga. We are still learning so much about each other and we think it is only fair to our future children to establish a great marriage, one we have worked on for years before having kids. 

7. Happy spouse, happy house. ; You know the phrase "happy wife, happy life"? How unfair is that? I firmly believe that marriage is a team not just one person. It doesn't make sense for just the wife to be happy. I believe that if both spouses strive to make the other spouse happy, then you will have a happy marriage. 

8. Go to bed at the same time. : I understand that this isn't always possible. Sometimes work can make this impossible if you are working different shifts. So for those of you who are able to, make it a point to go to bed at the same time as your spouse. If I stay up late, then I don't get the opportunity to fall asleep with my husband. I can fall asleep beside him, but I have to be careful not to wake him. If this means you have to go to be earlier, do it. Who doesn't want a few extra z's? 

9. Never stop learning about your spouse. : People evolve. People change. This is true for your spouse. The person C was when I married him almost 5 years ago is not the same person who I am married to today. C is constantly growing as a person, and his personality changes along with things he loves and finds important. If I stopped learning about amazing person C was when we got married, I would be missing out on the amazing different person C is today. 

10. Continue to date your spouse. : I hope no one else is as guilty of this as I am. Yikes. For the first few years of our marriage, C and I hardly went out on dates. It was then that I realized exactly how important it is to continue to date my husband. It is just as important as continuing to learn about him. A great way to combine the two is to go on dates and talk about your life, and learn about each other.

What are some of your favorite bits of marriage advice? 

2 comments:

  1. I agree with all of these! Even the ones that you said weren't for everyone. We live 700 miles from our families and don't plan to have kids till he's out of school ;)

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  2. Saying hello from Let's Be Friends Blog Hop...

    You two are lucky to have gotten such great advice in such a short amount of time. My husband and I celebrate our 5th year in April, and these advice apply to us as well. I love the spending time apart suggestion! This is so important for any married couple, but it's often forgotten. We forget that we have to take care of ourselves before we take care of each other. It's a great reminder, Cait! Thanks so much for sharing. Have a great rest of the week!

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