Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Being Married To Someone With ADHD

When C and I met in high school, I knew there was something about him that was a little, well odd, but not in a bad way. He was just really hyper, and couldn't focus on anything. Eventually I figured out he had been diagnosed with ADHD. And yes this was before it was every doctor's go-to diagnoses. C really had, well has, ADHD. Most of the time people take medication for this, but C and I figured out early on in our relationship that he just wasn't the same fun loving person when he was on medication. So together we decided to opt of of him taking anything. We knew that it meant we had a few challenges ahead of us, but we would get through them, and we have. While what happens with us may not be the case with others that are in a relationship with someone who is ADHD, I figured I would share a little about our life and how ADHD has changed me.

There was never really an adjustment period in our relationship. C had always been a little hyper, and honestly it was one of the reasons I fell in love with him. He was different than everyone else, and he hadn't gotten serious about every little thing. He still looked at the world like a child did, with wonder and amazement. He knew how to have fun, and how to have a great time no matter what. I noticed that he couldn't focus on one thing for too long, and a lot of times, our conversations would make "jumps." We would be talking about the wedding for example, and in the next sentence, he was talking about his childhood cat, or swimming, or dirt bikes. In the beginning, I got lost quite a bit, but now I have learned the "art of the jump" and I can make the jumps with him.

Being married has made things a little different though. While the day to day life is still the same with the randomness being a little extra hyper, the weeks are what is really different. C has hobbies, and not just a few hobbies. He has a lot of hobbies. We call them the "2 week" hobby. I love my husband dearly, and I would not change anything about him for the world, so please don't take any of this as me wanting to change him.

His 2 week hobbies range anywhere from painting, to working out, to rock climbing, to cigars, to craft beer, to gardening, to triathlons, to sailboats, to building things and everything in between. It is fun most of the time, but it gets a little frustrating sometimes. Do you need paint supplies? We have you covered. Need a place to work out? Just come to our garage. We have tons of equipment. Wanna go rock climbing? We have all the gear you need. Throughout the years, we have collected quite a bit of things for C's hobbies. I'm not complaining at all. I love that C is so well rounded, it just makes shopping for his birthday or Christmas a little harder because we have basically everything. Currently we are on the triathlon kick. I assume we will be on this hobby for a little longer than the average 2 weeks though because there is a short triathlon in August.

I love C with all of my heart, and I love the way he is. He still finds the joy in everything, and he has taught me that even though we are growing up, we can still have fun. He has this amazing excitement for learning new things, and he dives in head first. Thankfully, I have gotten on board with all his 2 week hobbies except one, the sailboat. I am happy to admit that I am now on board with the sailboat hobby for the next time it comes around, though I am really not looking forward to telling C that we are not buying a sailboat any time soon.

These hobbies aren't just things he does. The wonderful thing about this is that my husband teaches me these hobbies, so I am learning lots of new things. I am learning things that no one will be able to take from me. I am learning things I can teach my kids. I get to experience new things all the time. Most importantly, we are learning together, and we are doing things together.

While being married to someone with ADHD poses a few challenges, but it is seriously so much fun, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love the outlook on life I have now all thanks to my husband. It has been such a joy to learn these new things with my husband, and I am looking forward to learning even more as the years go on.

Are you married to someone with ADHD?
How has it changed your life?


  1. This is so amazing!!!!!!! I wish you both the best!!!!!!!!

  2. Sounds like ADHD in adulthood could be a blessing. I know so many people who become sort of stagnant as they grow older. I don't think that will be a problem for you two!! Popping over from Mal Smiles to say hi!



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